Tonight, I said good-bye to Dave. Although, logically he said good-bye to me in August, tonight hit me hard.
In the last 5 hours I have cried, laughed, been told the "truth" by a friend and realized that maybe, just maybe, that what made this hard was the fact that I was finally confronting the "truth" of life.
In reaction to these emotions, I ate what I wasn't supposed to (in every sense). I have drank some beers to dull my pain. I know, looking at recent events, that I am an emotional eater/drinker. When life hands me lemons, I eat and most definitely DRINK to erase the emotional responses.
I don't have any idea on how to break this cycle. I am in a brand new place, alone, lonely, and without outlets for this energy.
A mess, is a good way to describe my psychological state. I only wish that my response to these type of events was positive and did not include eating and drinking.
2 comments:
Hugs and love from many miles away is all I can offer friend. You did the right thing with Dave and everyone falls off the dieting wagon... especially when things get tough. Don't let it discourage you... let it make you come out the other end of it a more beautiful and stronger person.
Thanks friend. I know that I did the right thing. It doesn't lessen the suckiness of it, but at least, I made the decision. There is a long story that goes along with it that I will tell you later! I am better today, the tears have dried and my sense of equilibrium is coming back! I have been out of wack for the last month due to this and other emotional issues. Now that I am facing head on those things, maybe the weight loss wagon won't be so hard to get back on!
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